sábado, 31 de mayo de 2014

Missing you - with you



You know I’ve been missing you since the day I said hello, because it seems that you hide from me, you are so afraid to letting yourself go, and sometimes you don’t realize that you can’t control yourself and then, for a second there, in your eyes and in your smile I see how much you love me, and how much you want me to be by your side, and how much you need me, but then again, as fast as it came, it hides away.

And I try to look again into your eyes, but you’re not looking straight at me, trying to find an excuse to talk about something else, to look somewhere else, saying that the truth is that you get distracted, but I fear it’s not that. And I don’t fear that you don’t love me, not anymore, I know you do, deep inside of you, but you’re so afraid of letting show. You don’t want to accept it neither let me know, because then you would be vulnerable, breakable, like we all are, and you are so sensible and so delicate, that if you don’t keep some distance, you will break, and you learned your lesson, and you became so afraid of getting attached to things or people, that you grew up not expecting anything, now dreaming of anyone, afraid of the pain of another heartbreak.

But it doesn’t matter that you didn’t go through a hundred heartbreaks, a heart can love anyway, just let me get through your walls, little by little, and crawl there, next to your heart, and love your heart with mine, both close together, and we will be strong together, and they won’t break us, but not because we are not exposed to the world with our feelings, but because we will be together, no walls to keep us safe, just your arms around me and mine around you. Just the two of us.



miércoles, 11 de enero de 2012

Food is still hot...

Food is Still Hot - Karen O. & the kids

My heart burst into tears whenever I hear this song... Just as when you are wearing a little, shy smile in your face, and tears are falling down your cheeks. ( don't ask me why, but I tend to imagine scenes for the songs I listen to)

domingo, 8 de enero de 2012

miércoles, 4 de enero de 2012

Being drived away...

Okay, this is driving me away lately...  It's a song from the movie "The Chronicles of Narnia". It's not that I love the movie, but I do love the story (I think it won't take much untill I read the books). So the other day the film was on TV, and I decided to watch it without crtitic eyes. And as the story begins, when they're running away from London, there's that melody flowing in the air, and I, stupid of me, felt in love.

miércoles, 7 de diciembre de 2011

Why is so difficult?

So, they are always telling you the way to gt to things, how to reach what you want, but no one ever tells you that the most difficult part from getting what you really want is to keep that close to you. How easy it is to be someone for a day, and how difficult is to be someone all your life.



The same happens with friendship... why if we let things go they finally dissappear? why do we even let things go? What was on my mind when I just lost interest, why didn't I think that I could lose it all? when did all our relationship started to sink?

I would like to say that it's not my fault, but it is. I was the one that wanted to run away from you because it hurted me so bad being by your side, and I didn't realize that what hurts more than being by your side is not being there. Being no one in your life? In a year I became the "only one" that listens to you, ans in less than that  I became tha one asking, "how things going" with not a real interest in that.

I wish I could go backwards, but there's no way for that. But I want you to be again by my side. Having you as a friend is much more than so many things, and now that I'm stronger, and now that I know what I have to do, what I want to do!, now that I know myself better, now is when I want you back by my side, and I feel you might want it too, but we both don't know how to. How could we?

People show you things that you could do all on your own with no help at all, but no one tells you how to do the most difficult things. Maybe beeing sincere is the key, though it might be embarrassing, though it may hurt, I feel the only way is to tell you how I feel right now, and hope that you'll accept that kind of apologize, and we could ever be friends again somehow. I still don't see when I started to lose you, but I know that someday I realized that I was losing you, and I did not care at all, 'cause I though that way would be better. For you and for me. Why is it so easy to lie to ourselves? And why is it so difficult to get you back?

Sorry, I'll try, but that fact is that I feel you so far away from me right now... but still want you so close.

miércoles, 21 de septiembre de 2011

NO INSPIRATION RIGHT NOW


So when you walk so lack of inspiration you just stand there with no idea of what to do. That’s what has been happening to me lately, and that’s the reason I haven’t write anything these days. I just don’t know what to say. Maybe I just got nothing interesting to say, I really don’t know, thought I hope this situation will change soon.

domingo, 11 de septiembre de 2011

Day 4 - The girl who walks on the street



La chica que anda por la calle
Cada día se levanta a les 6:45, aunque le cuesta un poco, finalmente siempre termina por conseguirlo. Se lava la cara, almuerza, se ducha, se cepilla los dientes, se arregla y a las 7:45 ya está lista para salir y afrontar un día más en la vida. No es que sea una vida realmente complicada, puede que un poco dura y cansada, pero ella nunca se queja, al contrario, no podría estar más agradecida. Tiene a sus amigos, que ve todas las tardes que tiene libres y algunas noches. No tiene pareja, pues lo dejaron con su novio no hace mucho, pero no se siente muy triste por eso, sólo le da pena que al final la relación se deteriorara. Y aunque su familia no esté cerca de dónde ella vive y los eche en falta, no se siente sola. Está feliz de tener cosas para las que estar alegre y cosas para las que sentirse triste. Se coloca los auriculares en las orejas y abre la puerta.
Cuando sale a la calle se protege el cuello con su abrigo negro, pues el viento hibernal puede llegar a ser muy frío en esa enorme ciudad. Se dirige hacia la boca del metro mientras a su lado hileras de gente se mueven a toda prisa, cada una de esas personas está aislada en su mundo, pero aún así, aunque todos en su mundo, conviven en una perfecta armonía. Está a punto de entrar en el metro cuando de pronto y muy probablemente motivada por la música, decide ir andando hacia el trabajo, pues la verdad es que tampoco le queda exageradamente lejos, va a tardar algo más de lo previsto en llegar, pero hoy va con tiempo y aunque sea andando, va a llegar temprano.
Su paseo la lleva por los lugares que ya tan familiares le parecen, aunque no sea esa la ciudad dónde se crío. Hay algunas caras que siempre se encuentran en el mismo lugar, otras que cada día son distintas. Gente paseando entre el gentío con flores, aunque la mayoría llevan un café humeando. A ella también le sentaría bien uno. Va a comprárselo. Ahora con el café en la mano sigue andando, un poco más deprisa, pues ha perdido algo de tiempo al ir a comprar-lo. Cada sorbo de ese brebaje le da un poco más de energía. Sonríe a un niño que va de la mano de su padre seguramente dirigiéndose al colegio y se ha quedado mirándola con una sonrisa. Un perro le ladra y aunque en un primer momento se asusta, luego se da cuenta de que sólo quiere caricias. Sigue andando y ya cada vez está más cerca. Cada paso le sabe a gloria, esos paseos le saben a libertad, en ese momento es quién quiere ser y nadie le dice lo contrario, nadie la contradice, y ella gobierna a sus piernas. Esos son sus momentos, suyos y solo suyos.
Llega a una puerta de cristal, mira la entrada de su trabajo, de dónde no parar de entrar y salir gente. Apaga la música, sonríe con optimismo y traviesa la puerta.


The girl who walks on the street
Every day she wakes up at 6:45, though she finds it a little hard she always ends getting up. She washes her face, gets breakfast, a shower, she brushes her teeth, gets ready and at 7:45 is absolutely ready to go out and face up a new day in life. It’s not that her life’s very complicated, maybe a little rough and tiring, but she never complains, contrary she could not be more grateful. She has her friends, who she sees each afternoon she’s free and some nights. She’s single, because her boyfriend and she broke up not so far ago, but she’s not really mad about it, she’s just a little sad about how the relationship wore out. And although her family is far away from where she lives and that she miss them, she doesn’t feel lonely. She’s happy because she’s got both, things to be happy about and things that make her feel sad. She puts on the headphones and opens the door.
When she gets on the street she keeps her neck protected with her black coat, because the winter wind can be so freezing in that big city. She hires to the underground while next to her lines of people move in a rush, everyone is isolated in their own world, but nevertheless they live in perfect harmony. She is going to go down into the underground when suddenly, and surely motivated by the music, decides to walk to work, because the truth is that it’s not so far away from where she lives, maybe the commute will last a little bit longer than expected, but she has time and whether she goes walking or not, she’ll be there on time.
The walk takes her to the places that have become so familiar to her, though it’s not the city where she grew up. There are some faces that are always there, but some others are different every day. People walking through people with flowers, but mostly people are carrying a steaming coffee. She may like one too. She goes to buy it. Now, with the coffee in her hand she keeps on walking, a little faster than before because she’s lost a little bit of time on going for that coffee. Every sip of that brew gives her a more energy. She smiles at a little kid who walks hand by hand with his father, maybe going to school, and has been staring at her with a smile. A dog barks at her and though she’s frightened in the very first moment, soon she realizes that it only wants to be stroked. She goes on while she’s reaching work. Every step that she takes feels like paradise, those walks taste like freedom to her, she’s now who she wants to be, and no one tells her it’s not like that, no one opposites her, and she controls her legs. Those are her moments, hers and only hers.